For those of us that live in a near (or actual) state of constant tension and activation, softening our bodies can be so far beyond our realm of familiarity that we don’t recognize it as safe for our bodies. It brings a lot of sensations that aren’t the hard, locked muscles we’ve grown accustomed to moving with. Instead it brings things like twitching, shifting, lengthening,  and loosening, and sometimes those things are uncomfortable or even hurt.

When we don’t take the time to show ourselves we’re safe, we’re likely to (a) rush and/or force our bodies into shapes, or (b) resist at the same time we’re trying to allow. Either of those things is a recipe for discomfort and pain, which is going to make you feel less safe. Which is going to turn up the tension and guarding in your body and mind. Which is not an environment that supports embodiment.

We do kind things for others because we think they’re worth it, but it’s a little too easy to only do things for ourselves out of obligation. However, I don’t do well when I feel like others are treating me as an obligation, so why would I treat myself like that and hope for a different response?